When I recollect of double-sided dildos (which are pretty much what they sound like in that it'south a dildo with ii heads that can be used by two people on either stop to have sex with each other), I recollect "gag gift" or "why." Not because they're not functional or valid, but because I don't know anyone who has looked at one of them for the first time always and thought, Oh yes, that would not only be easy to use and would also instantly pleasurable for both parties! Double-sided dildos, as far as I can tell, take a certain Next Level of finesse because yous're both in charge of keeping this thing in your vaginas (or butts) and maintaining a rhythm that seems alike to a game of tug of state of war but with a plastic dong that looks similar a larger version of a h2o snake toy.

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My queer friends accept never openly mentioned their beloved of double dongs in my company but information technology'south totally possible they had never used them or possibly that'south just the kind of affair yous don't talk about while drinking pinot and watching Girls? I don't know, so I decided to ask several women directly instead of waiting for the magic moment when they mention them out of the blue because they'd been on their heed a lot lately.

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Adira, 43, says she'south always been interested in double-sided dildos but felt like they wouldn't be right for her considering she found "the products on the market are made for those with more room inside them than I have," due to some issues with her pelvic floor. She said, "Even if I wanted to become for it anyway [with a double-sided dildo], the pain during and afterward wouldn't be worth information technology. I really enjoy scissoring though and I want to take it to the next level, so I wish someone would commencement making smaller models!" That seems fair to me since the above photo looks like something you'd get someone as a joke for their 50th birthday.

Cassie, thirty, echoed similar sentiments, saying she plant them to be "scary" considering of a scene she'd seen in Requiem for a Dream that involved a double-sided dildo that haunted her for life. Both reasons could explain why so few of my queer friends had much experience with them, but the women I establish who had experience were more than happy to talk.

Here are some of the tips those women were able to requite me to assistance you navigate double-sided dildo fun times with (greater) ease.

1. Start doing kegels, like, yesterday. Suzanne, 32, co-possessor of PatsySue.com and dildo connoisseur, says that mod double-sided dildos like the Tantus FeelDoe take ergonomic designs that make information technology easier to proceed inside you, but all double-sided dildo use really benefits from having stiff pelvic floor muscles. She recommends kegel eggs for keeping your PC muscles in great shape for DSD action.

ii. Size matters! Taylor J. Mace, a sex educator, says to continue the length in mind when shopping for a double-sided dildo. "A longer one reduces the risk of STI transmission (or infection, if you're using both ends in yourself) every bit there will be less genital-to-genital contact, fluid passing from ane partner to another, or the toy from going from your butt to your vagina. A few extra inches in betwixt can make a big difference!"

iii. Call back about your dream peen. Mace says that as with any buy, consider what you lot're buying it for earlier throwing down your coin. "Do y'all desire i that looks like it could exist your penis? If so, what does your dream dick expect similar?" Do you want to get with the realistic looking mankind-colored one? Or would your dream peen be glittery and a totally unrealistic neon color?

4. Probably don't apply information technology on a one-nighttime stand considering the awkward potential is very existent. Cassie says she and her married woman accept been together for a long time, and so they have no problem laughing at sexual clumsiness, such as "if one or both of you is super close and the stupid thing slips out." But that's harder to do with your Tinder date whose proper name yous recall is January?

5. You don't need to utilize a harness — and really information technology might exist improve non to use one if you lot're a beginner. Cassie likes to employ a harness because she found the dildo has a tendency to slip out in certain positions, especially if you lot're going at it really hard (which yous e'er are because it's ever hard. Zing!) Merely Amanda Shea, 25, marketing and media manager for Eve's Garden, says harnesses are totally a personal preference. "Using a DSD without a harness tends to be a meliorate option for those who have less experience with dildos or merely want a more than intimate experience." That makes sense because few things are more intimate than scissoring with a dong, going dorsum and along via the power of your pelvic flooring only.

6. Definitely, definitely use lube on both ends. Amanda says y'all want the dildo to be inserted smoothly on both ends, so if you observe that challenging, relax and add some more lube.

seven. Double-sided dildos are not ideal for standing sex considering gravity exists. Amanda says that DSDs definitely work better when you're lying down because information technology's a lot easier to have the dildo go upwardly and down rather than back and along. Which makes sense when you retrieve near it because yep, of course the dildo would fall out between your legs. Gravity hates dildo-infused standing sexual activity.

eight. Be forewarned: Being on peak is definitely more exhausting than topping with a regular strap-on. Cassie says that information technology takes a lot more energy to pinnacle with a DSD because you have to focus non only on pleasing your partner just making certain the dildo stays in identify, but she thinks the effort is worth it because "it feels really fucking good."

9. You might want to switch dildo positions during sex activity considering that's just fun. Cassie says she and her wife switch positions in terms of who is the penetration driving force depending on the mood they're in. "Normally one of u.s. will instigate information technology specifically past saying, 'I want to fuck y'all,' or, 'I want to be fucked,'" says Cassie. "Most of the time, the other person is game."

10. If yous desire to change positions, y'all should clean upwardly existent quick. Amanda says switching from active to passive participation is easy, only too recommends washing your dildo and re-lubing both ends before you switch positions to avoid infections.

11. Like all dildos, you demand to keep that matter make clean and/or apply a safe. Victoria, 33, host of the sexual practice podcast Livin' and Lovin' in NYC, recommends using condoms on both sides considering information technology makes cleanup easier and adds lubrication, plus it reduces the hazard of STI transmission if you lot switch sides. The ones she'southward used, she says, were meant to be boiled or run in "sanitize style" in the dishwasher, simply if you lot live with roommates, boiling can be awkward, especially if you forgot to do it before and have to ask your sex activity partner to hold on a second while you become eddy your dildo.

12. You tin masturbate with a double-sided dildo and it is awesome. Suzanne says a lot of people love DSDs considering you don't take to reach as far to concur onto the dildo, making it like having a perfectly angled handle and much less risk of getting a manus cramp if you're really getting up in that.

13. You lot might be shocked by how awesome it feels (cool problem to have, I know). Cassie says she couldn't believe how great having sex with a double-sided dildo was and that she "felt like a 14-year-quondam boy blowing his load subsequently a few thrusts" because she came so apace. If y'all're non psyched to endeavour information technology now, I don't know what else I demand to say.

14. Don't be agape to get handsy! Dr. Carol Queen, sex educator and resident sexpert at Good Vibrations, says if you're using a double-sided dildo with a bulb that stays inside one partner, deciding who volition practise the moving might take some getting used to. "Thrusting towards each other might work," she explains. But besides, don't be afraid to grab information technology in the heart and add some motility and stability that way.

xv. Non all double-sided dildos are the same. Coco Cameron, sex skillful at Lovehoney, says inside the umbrella category of double-sided dildos, there are dissimilar types. For solo play, you lot can attempt the Lovehoney Mini Double Penetration dildo, which has one slightly smaller end for anal play. For couples, Coco recommends the Hoodlum Double Dildo, which has a beginner-friendly shape and size.

16. Add together vibration! Lisa, Sex Educator at Babeland, says this way "Even if at that place'due south some slippage or re-positioning needed, the constant fizz will go along the skillful sensations going." Lisa recommends the Fun Factory Sharevibe, which is peculiarly designed to hit all the right places inside the vagina, with extra ridge to hit the wearer's clitoris. Or, y'all tin upgrade whatever non-vibrating double-sided dildo by slipping a vibrating penis band over one or both ends!

17. Check in with each other. Like with all sex things, advice is always a good thought. Lisa says "Using a double-ended toy requires some finesse and taking the guesswork out by communicating with your partner is a bully style to expedite the process. Things may be feeling great for one partner, while the other's human foot is falling asleep because of the wild position the toy has thrust you both into." Some awkward fumbling around is bound to happen, but if yous communicate with your partner, yous both might finish up having a really good time.

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Boosted reporting by Carina Hsieh

This post was originally published in March 2016 and has been updated.